Slow Day At Work

We’ve tried faint praise and indifference towards our opponent. Result: steamrolling loss. Then we tried being angrily amused at our opponent. Result: sucking chest wound loss. So what’s next? I’ll tell you what’s next: propaganda! If there’s anything we’ve learned from history, it’s that demonizing one’s foe is the best way to work up the bloodlust in one’s populace. And so I present you with the following, clear evidence of… well, something sinister, I’m sure, regarding Mississippi State’s head coach, Dan Mullen. Take a look:

Did you see that? The composition of the two shots? The similarities in head motion? The shiftiness of the eyes? It’s all so…je ne sais pas! Really. I don’t know what. But I’m pretty sure it hates football. Also, did you notice the guy in the background of Mullen’s shot? See what’s printed on the sweatshirt he’s wearing? Truthfully, I can’t quite make out the entire phrase but the last word is definitely “Iraq”. What the hell? Yes, bin Laden’s in Afghanistan somewhere but weren’t we told that the two countries are all intertwined into one giant ball of suck that is the War on Terror™? I’m telling you. Sinister.

And speaking of which, you know what I’d like to see? The outtakes to some of those Al-Queda videos. I mean, surely they didn’t get it all in one shot, right? Well, maybe they did but you’d think if they were skilled enough to do that they’d all be working in Hollywood somewhere. I know it’s a heavily unionized industry and so it can be kind of hard to break into but you figure with all the guns and cutting off heads and shit, they’d at least be able to get a foot in the door. Or somebody’s foot in the door. And I saw Swimming With Sharks. I know how hard it can be to work with some of them Hollywood folks. But you’ve got to figure some Kevin Spacey motherfucker got to be a whole lot easier to deal with than the Taliban. I hear some of those Talibs are real bears to work with and rightfully so, I might add. Think how much time some of those guys have to spend in makeup, what with the long beards and arid environment. And you just know your tech guys are talking shit the whole time, too. “Damn, I gotta fucking light another fucking cave? Fuck”! Although, come to think of it, maybe they wouldn’t make it in Hollywood. I mean, I don’t really see them getting along with some of the folks there. Yeah, maybe they’d be better off with the whole low-budget, indie film thing. I hear Cinéma vérité is still the trendy look.

So, yeah. Dan Mullen. The Taliban. That should get us all worked up, right?

One Response to “Slow Day At Work”

  1. […] Propagandize the demonization of our opponent’s head coach. […]

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