The Enemy Surrounds Me

Vince Dooley will be rooting for the Tennessee Volunteers this Saturday. But he won’t be doing it in Sanford Stadium. His reasoning is that while he has to pull for his son, the head coach of the Vols, he cannot root against the Dawgs Between the Hedges.

“You don’t all of a sudden love that ugly orange.”

In the interest of making sure that my meaning comes across clearly, I’d like to point out to everyone that my thesis statement for this post is as follows. Everything bad in this world can be traced back to the color orange: Auburn, Florida, Tennessee, Clemson, the Dutch… it’s remarkable.

Does it hurt when I do this? How 'bout now?

Even though I live in Memphis, a town with its own university who considers itself an in-state rival of the Volunteers, the taint of Big Orange remains prevalent. Everywhere I look, in fact, I am reminded of that school back east. From our hospitals:

To our grocery stores:

Orange dominates our landscape. Hell, even our airwaves are polluted:

And let’s not forget the vaunted Vols Navy, who also make an appearance, though not on the Big Muddy, as one might expect here in Memphis:

As if all of that weren’t enough, we’re now approaching the Halloween season. And that means pumpkins:

It’s enough to wear a man down. Because while I may live in Tennessee, I bear no love for that ugly orange.

Go Dawgs!

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6 Responses to “The Enemy Surrounds Me”

  1. […] neither. Because I live amongst the enemy. I have plenty of friends and co-workers who made a conscious decision to clothe themselves in that […]

  2. look on the bright side; Dutch thuggery keeps soccer from getting boring, plus it gives all those injury faking players something to cry about.

  3. You keep telling yourself that as you and yours float imperialistically down that slowly meandering river. There is no bright side to the heart of darkness.

    😀

  4. […] Besides, Syracuse’s mascot is the Orange. And I hate orange. […]

  5. […] surrounded by UT fans. This is not to be unexpected because, as I’ve mention before, I live amongst the enemy. But, generally speaking, I get along with my UT friends fifty or so weeks out of the year. And so […]

  6. […] live about as far away from Knoxville as I can within the boundaries of the state of Tennessee, the stench of big orange lingers. Hell, I think I just drove by Phil Fulmer on the way home from […]

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