Lions and Bengals and Akbears, oh my

I don’t know what to say here. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all. Alright, look. I don’t like playing fantasy football. I really don’t. Because it makes me do things that I normally wouldn’t. But I have several very good friends who take part in it and, last year, I reconnected with a couple of these guys after too many years. So I readily agreed to join their league when it came up. And then I remembered why I dislike fantasy football. I drafted Calvin Johnson to my roster. Calvin Johnson. Megatron, himself. A Techie.

But, damn, he did me good. I got a lot of points off Calvin Johnson last year and when this year’s fantasy draft came up, I had every intention of drafting him again. But I hesitated when my turn in the draft came because of a certain former number 8 who used to play for the Dawgs. You may remember him as AJ Green, the eighth wonder of the world. I passed up on Calvin, thinking I could get AJ in a later round. And that’s exactly what happened.

After a big game last week, I had AJ all lined up to start for me this week. My opponent just happens to be the guy who drafted Calvin Johnson in my stead. As it stands right now, I am losing to him by roughly 8 and half points. But I still have one more player to go, some tight end for the Redskins, who play the Cowboys tonight. I don’t know who this tight end is because I scrambled to get him when it was revealed that the tight end I’d originally drafted, Antonio Gates, was injured and wouldn’t play this weekend.

Down by 8 and half points. I wouldn’t be facing this problem if I’d only gotten a little more production out of one of my wide receivers. AJ Green got me 6.9 points. My opponent got 29.8 points out of Calvin Johnson.

But, hey, at least it was Matthew Stafford throwing him all those points passes. I’ve got Stafford on my roster too, by the way. But I didn’t start him.

I really don’t like fantasy football.*

*In the interest of full disclosure, it really isn’t as dramatic as all that. The reason I didn’t start Stafford is because my other QB is Aaron Rodgers. In the end, Rodgers netted me just a few more points than Stafford would have if I’d started him. Also, the blame can’t solely be put on AJ. One of my running backs, BenJarvus Green-Ellis, of the Patriots, got me almost no points at all. BenJarvus, if you’ll recall, played college ball at Ole Miss, our opponent this past weekend. Damn those Akbears.

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