Threat condition: Piss

What you see above is the Homeland Security color-coded key showing various terrorist threat levels. While it may seem that the red-colored field labeled “Severe” is the highest threat level, there is an even higher one, revealed strictly on a need to know basis. As we approach Clean, Old-fashioned Hate, I figure you guys need to know.

Using a color that can only be described as “piss-like”, this level is labeled “N.A.T.S.”, and for good reason. Because it seems that those poor fuckers the easily manipulated minds just to our west have a propensity towards violent radicalism:

Earlier studies had shown that terrorists tend to be wealthier and better-educated than their countrymen, but Gambetta and Hertog found that engineers, in particular, were three to four times more likely to become violent terrorists than their peers in finance, medicine or the sciences.

That’s right. The place we’re going this Saturday is more likely to be inhabited by terrorists than anywhere else we’ve been this season. It’s a good thing we’ll outnumber them anyway, even if we are in their territory. Still, like my safety announcement this time last year, I feel it’s better to be prepared.


6 Responses to “Threat condition: Piss”

  1. Gee, thanks!

    My 17-year-old son is in the midst of a bunch of aspiring engineers as I write this.

    He’s visiting THE Institute of Technology this week, hoping for his early admisssions acceptance thereto scheduled to arrive next month.

    Folks at THE Institute in Massachusetts do look down upon the NATS as much as we do, and for much the same reasons.

    When my son returns home Friday evening, I’ll probe for revelation of any sign of terrorist influence in his brief visit to Cambridge.

    He’ll be back just in time to watch us Wreck tech!

  2. Hell, they have already tried and convicted one Georgia Tech student for terrorism activities. There are bound to be more, not to mention all the muggings and rapes on campus…….and they call Athens a cesspool. Sheesh!!!

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